DEAR ABBY

We knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing look, knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was absent from you, when I saw a boy at your side, my doubts and fears returned.

Everytime i believed that in your dark eyes I read a genuine interest in me and in my fortunes. Yes, I feel it; and I may believe my own heart which tells me—dare I say it?—dare I pronounce the divine words?—that she loves me! How the idea exalts me in my own eyes! And, as you can understand my feelings, I may say to you, how I honour myself since you loves me!

You are for me a sacred being. All passion is still in your presence: I cannot express my sensations when I am near you. I feel as if my soul beat in every nerve of my body. There is a melody which you plays on me with angelic skill,— when you played the first note, all pain, care, and sorrow disappear from me in a moment. Sometimes, when I am ready to commit suicide, you sings that air; and instantly the gloom and madness which hung over me are dispersed, and I breathe freely again.

Last year, when I took leave you seized me by the hand, and said, " dear " Dear Lt; It was the last time you called me dear: the sound sunk deep into my heart. I have repeated it a hundred times; and everynight, on going to bed, and talking to myself of various things, I suddenly said myself "Good night, dear" and then could not but laugh at myself. I have been told you and rightnow i realized that it is my fault to love you.
And this heart is now dead, no sentiment can revive it; my eyes are dry; and my senses, no more refreshed by the influence of soft tears, wither and consume my brain. I suffer much, for I have lost the only charm of life: that active, sacred power which created worlds around me,—it is no more.

At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been once present fell with full force upon my heart. I buried my face in my handkerchief, and hastened from the room, and was only recalled to my recollection by your voice, who reminded me that it was time to alone again. With what tenderness you chid me on the way for the too eager interest I took in everything! You declared it would do me injury, and that I ought to spare myself. Yes, my angel! I will do so for your sake.

I shall never be myself again! Wherever I go, some fatality occurs to distract me. Even to-day —for our destiny! My dear, EVIL TO THEM THAT EVIL THINK; is an old saying and i have found it a one true. I have ruined myself by my unjust suspicions of shitt. It was the balm of my life and i have lost it. And i fear for ever. By one fault and folly after another

Lastly, my chubby 'duatlai' - my sweet one, protect yourself and do not let any evil come near you. Do so in pleasure relationship with no danger or worry or fear. Both love in your hearts makes you one, as the genuine need there stays constant. No more to you at this present, mine own darling, for a long time since I kissed you. I want your hand to guide me, an eye to cheer me, a bosom to repose on; all which I had before!

And i ask myself again and again-

Shall I not see you again till this life is over?